Two movies in two days…that’s a record for me. But fortune has given me the opportunity to be at the multiplex two evenings in a row, and the results were definitely mixed.
Screenplay by David Benioff
Based on the Epic Poem by Homer
Directed by Wolfgang Petersen
“Peace is for the women, and the weak. Empires are forged by war!”
TROY was a disappointment, but I can’t quite put my finger on why it was a disappointment. It had all the necessary ingredients: brilliant film work, a superb cast (at least on paper), and an insane director with the scope to bring it all together. But the end result was very flat.
Well let’s start with the script. This adaptation of The Iliad leaves out a huge chunk of the story, and with it, I believe it leaves out the heart and soul of the drama. Removing the gods is actually detrimental to the movie — much of the motivation of the characters suddenly becomes crass at best, and illogical at other times. Things seem to happen on a whim, or for some superficial reason, when in the true story, the gods were scheming, plotting, and interfering the entire time.
Secondly, the siege of Troy took ten years, yet the time compressed film seems to deal with it in a matter of weeks! The realities of film aside, it’s not exactly impressive.
Then there’s the good-on-paper cast. They’re all decent, but they don’t compliment each other well. Some of them sail right over the top (such as Brian Cox as Agammemon, whose scream of DIIIEEE!!! after his brother Menelaus is killed made me laugh hysterically). Others, such as Diane Kruger as Helen, barely make an impression at all. If she was the face that launched a thousand ships, the Greeks were certainly wearing rose-tinted glasses. Or else they took Homer’s line about wine-dark seas literally…
The movie made a grave mistake in not concentrating fully on the cast members that give the most bang for the audience’s emotional buck. Brad Pitt is full of heartache and self-loathing as Achilles, yet also possesses great compassion and courage…and he plays it beautifully. But all we get are snippets of this glory, apart from the lengthy scene where he speaks with King Priam of Troy, played by Peter O’Toole with all the magnificence you’d expect from Lawrence of Arabia.
Eric Bana is the best thing about the movie: a commanding presence throughout, he truly IS Hector. He, more than any other character or actor in the film, is fleshed out and examined with great skill and depth, but he shouldn’t have the burden of carrying the emotional core of the film on his shoulders alone.
Frankly, the entire movie was lacking in magnificence. Apart from the beautiful shots of the Greek Navy, the battles were ordinary, the sets are what you’d expect, yet seem generic to every other sword-and-sandal epic. The movie is full of nothing we haven’t seen before, and that’s it greatest crime. Somewhere inside of itself, TROY had the chance to be a stunning picture. Instead, in the words of an former student, it’s merely “meh”.
5
Screenplay by Andrew Adamson and Joe Stillman and J. David Stem & David N. Weiss
Story by Andrew Adamson
Based on the book by William Steig
Directed by Andrew Adamson / Kelly Asbury / Conrad Vernon
“Oh, Shrek. Don’t worry. Things just seem bad because it’s dark and rainy and Fiona’s father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.”
SHREK 2, on the other hand, is only disappointing in that it doesn’t balance out it’s incredible humour as well as the first movie. There are long sections of the second act that simply drag, without many laughs. But the opening and closing acts are a rush of jokes and scenarios that must be seen to be believed.
The entire movie is stolen by Antonio Banderas (the only time you’ll EVER hear me say that!) as the voice of Puss ‘n Boots, from the moment he appears, threatening to kill Shrek…then stopping to cough up a hairball! Right behind him is Absolutely Fabulous’ Jennifer Saunders as the Fairy Godmother, who does an Edina-on-evil-crack shtick that’s impossible not to love.
The opening honeymoon montage is priceless, with in-jokes ranging from The Little Mermaid to The Lord of the Rings. In fact, the Rings riffs run throughout the entire film, and it’s quite possible that I’m missing other pastiches as well, but that’s the kind of movie this is. It’s almost impossible to review, but I will make one comment.
Was I one of the few people with any sort of education watching this film? There were scenes where I was one of the few people in the audience laughing at certain in-jokes and scenes, as the references seem to sail right past everyone else. They must have though I was crazy…but then again, I thought they were ignorant savages, so everything equals out. I also wonder why some people brought such very young kids (even a baby!) to see this film. It’s a cartoon, but it’s not exactly Disney territory. Finding Nemo is a movie that beautifully balances kids entertainment and adult entertainment. SHREK 2 is definitely more for adults. No wonder many of the children seemed restless throughout the film.
9
Two days, two movies. Time to cleanse myself and watch some more television… 
