On Friday, for the first time in my decade-plus use of the internet at home, I had access to a high speed connection, thanks to Bell. I've finally ditched dial up...
...and that's when my problems REALLY began!
About a third of my websites weren't loading up. Panic began to grow. I phone the tech line (310-SURF...how quaint), and spend the next 90 MINUTES on the phone, loading up Internet Explorer service packs, linking to different site and checking modem signals. In the end, I'm told that I will probably have to reload most of my Windows IE software.
I went to the gym feeling exceptionally low, and proceeded to have the most pathetic work out in history.
But I come home to good news: James phones to tell me a large router has crashed in New York, causing all sorts of internet problems. Sure enough, I try my websites, and they're back! A huge weight is lifted from my shoulders. I turn back to my computer, ready to surf once more...
...only to be told, time and again, that I have a low virtual memory!
What the hell is virtual memory?! V-i-r-t-u-a-l implimes that this not exactly real or substantial...and I KNOW that I have plenty of real and substantial RAM and hard drive space. I sure as hell paid enough money for it!
So, to resolve the issue, I spend 45 minutes chatting online to Microsoft tech support, and pretty much reconfiguring my msconfig/booting software settings. Then, I'm informed that I have spyware in my system. Download a program to get rid of it, pronto!
It feels like it took a millenium, but in the end, here I am, typing out all this on a computer that hasn't told me I have low virtual (non-existant?) memory since early this afternoon, and all the webpages I regularly visit are showing up on cue. I am totally drained by the experience -- the latest incident in a lifetime or three of suffering various computer problems. And since I haven't had one in over a year, I guess I was about due for some unnatural fun with megabyte modems.
Too much fun. No more, please! (on hands and knees, begging the evil lord of the computer underworld...)
