Sat, Dec
31
2005

Annus Horribilis

It started out so well…

The return of Doctor Who, in a glory that bowled everyone over…and sharing it with many of my classes…creating a new generation of fans.

The passing of same-sex marriage into law, cementing Canada as a nation of progress and tolerance. Somwhere up on high, Pierre Trudeau was smiling down upon us.

My first overseas vacation to London…exploring an awe-inspiring city, and having the time of my life.

Being evaluated in my job for the first time since my rookie year…and coming out with a superb rating.

And now…it all feels like it’s come crashing down, with my mother’s cancer diagnosis.

I spent yesterday afternoon with a friend I haven’t seen in years. I played with his toddler son, he made me lunch, he burned a DVD and a CD full of Doctor Who goodies for me…by any normal account, I should have had a blast.

Instead, I felt like an automaton…my mom’s illness clawing at the back of my mind. I try not to dwell on it, but it’s driving me mad. It’s as if I’ve been given a cancer of the soul, to suffer along with my mother.

So, the end of 2005 has shattered everything that has come before…and for the first time in my life, I’m dreading what the new year is going to bring. I don’t want to think like this…but it seems unavoidable.

The future lies this way…

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Banner image courtesy Tom's North American Trolleybus Pictures and the Scalzo collection.

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