LAMB — THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO BIFF, CHRIST’S CHILDHOOD PAL
Written by Christopher Moore
“Henceforth and from now on, I decree that whenever something bad happens to me, there shall be bunnies around.”
One of my earliest blog posts included a brief review of the gripping, historical-fiction novel Testament, which offered four very different, very profound interpretations of the life of Jesus, told by different narrators. Lamb takes a similar path…except it’s more irreverent, hilarious, poignant, terrifying, joyous, depressing…
…in short, it’s even BETTER than Testament…and I would have been the first to say that such an achievement would be impossible. But Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal, is a work of genius…and nothing is impossible when confronted with genius.
Lamb is narrated by Biff (the nickname of Levi, the son of a stone cutter), who befriends Joshua at age six. Joshua is pretty sure he’s the Messiah…but he doesn’t have a clue how to be the Messiah. With Biff along for the ride, the two boys set off from Nazareth on a quest to find the Magi who visited Joshua at his birth — perhaps they will offer the wisdom Joshua needs in order to carry out his father’s mission on Earth.
The result of this quest to the East involves a string of amazing escapades that alternate between action adventure, obscene humour, and touching self-discovery. Joshua slowly but surely learns what it means to be the Messiah, thanks to teachings that range from Buddhism, Confucianism, Taoism, and many, many other “isms”…as well as a friendship with a lonely yeti. Biff, always looking after his best friend, manages to share this in this self discovery, although he gets to experience some more raunchy aspects of life that Joshua isn’t sure he’s allowed to experience (and that blond ditz of an angel is no help…he even manages to be ten years late with the annunciation!).
What’s the bottom line? Well, let’s make a list:
(1) Any book that combines the Messiah’s enlightening quest with Biff’s observations on the Kama Sutra must be read immediately!
(2) Any book where the Messiah spends years in a mountain fortress, his earthly needs tended to by exquisite concubines (who happen to be shagging his best friend Biff and painting him blue) is a work of genius!
(3) Any book that manages to turn the Messiah into a living, breathing human, with doubts, passions, and deep friendships, is a book that EVERYONE should read.
(4) Any book where three Judean children try to circumcise the statue of Apollo, in the middle of the night is, quite possibly, the greatest book EVER!
From the queus at the gates of the Great Wall of China, to the warm, sunny coast of the land of Tamil…from the dusty, hilly Judean countryside, to the mountain paths of the Himalayas…it’s a book that takes an epic setting and drops two boys into its centre. One grows up to become the savior of mankind…the other grows up to become his closest friend and confidant. He might have a crush on the Virgin Mary, and he’s getting nowhere with Maggie from Magdala…but he’s sticking with his best friend to the very end. Someone needs to look after him while he heals the sick and forgives sins…
No review could do this book the justice it deserves. It manages to take everything you know about The Greatest Story Ever Told…and turn it on its head…except for that messianic mission bit…complete with lessons that still matter today (they might even be MORE comprehensible). Christopher Moore adds the spice of his twisted intellect, and gives readers a story that’s a hell of a lot more fun than the usual dry gospels. In truth, he makes it more relevant, more amazing, and more glorious than it’s ever been before.
And it will make you laugh until you cry…and cry until you laugh. 
