A young university-student friend of mine, who reads my blog daily, recently moaned (with great drama) about my lack of political posts in recent days. Therefore, this potpourri is dedicated to him…and you KNOW who you are…
(1) According to today’s Globe and Mail, former Prime Minister Jean Chretien has emerged from retirement as a backroom player, giving advice to the new Liberal leader and his transition team.
“Chrétien can give huge advice,” one senior Liberal said. “Nobody knows better how to defeat a government, when to call an election, how to manage the caucus [in the early days] and how to manage the regions. His instincts are second to none.”
It’s like watching Zeus descend from Olympus (cue the choir music that introduced God from Monty Python and the Holy Grail), ready to instruct mere mortals in the fine art of destroying the Conservatives and their crawling-scum-leader in the next election. It makes for a nice Christmas present…and another blow against the forces of darkness (nee, the aforementioned Conservative rabble).
(2) And now, a quote from the devil-creature Harper himself, in regards to his brilliant plan about cleaning up the environment by the time I’m collecting my pension:
“Obviously the public’s not satisfied yet with what we’re doing. The public understands that the transformation of Canada’s environmental record from the worst in the developed world — which it is in just about every measure — to something much better wouldn’t happen in a year or two. It’s going to take time.”
Conservatives are the kind of people who think evolution was something that happened too quickly. Buy the time their environmental plan kicks into high gear, we’re ALL going to be carrying around portable oxygen canisters, and shouting “SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE OF PEOPLE!”
Actually, now that I think about it, Charelton Heston would be impressed… considering he makes Canadian conservatives look like loony socialists. He probably thinks we’re damn dirty apes as well…
(3) The President of the United States recently claimed that the way to win his ideological war (oh god, he admitted it!) is to make the U.S. military BIGGER! He claims that American forces in Iraq and Afghanistan aren’t near breaking point…they’re just stressed.
Hmm…
Pardon me for disagreeing with you, you semi-conscious born-again automaton, but let’s be clear. TEACHING is stressful. Being a COP is stressful. Being a PARENT is stressful.
Being an army of 150 thousand troops, attempting to occupy and transform a country of 20+ million people who don’t want you there…that’s not stressful. It’s STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!
Mind you, so is George W. Bush…therefore, the concept has its own evil symmetry.
And finally, to my young, political-hungry friend…
(4) If this post…my 800th POST in almost 3 YEARS…wasn’t enough to satiate your appetite for the time being, I’m going to PILEDRIVE YOU through my coffee table…and you know I can do it without breaking a sweat. 
