Ever heard of the Eurovision Song Contest?
Probably not…especially since the last act to emerge from this circus of the inane-pseudo-stars with any well-deserved fame was ABBA…and that was back in 1974!
Eurovision is the grandfather of all the wretched Pop Idol/American Ido/Canadian Idol abominations that have been unleashed on humanity…but I’ll let Wikipedia explain it first…before I proceed to trash it further:
The Eurovision Song Contest is an annual competition held among active member countries of the European Broadcasting Union (EBU), in which participating countries each submit a song to be performed on live television; then proceed to cast votes for the other countries’ songs, in order to find the most popular song in the competition. Each country participates via one of their national EBU-member television stations, whose task it is to select a singer and a song to go forward to represent the country in the international competition.
Aside from being an arena for playing out international tensions, it’s a circus of unbelieveable camp and dross…which probably explains WHY and HOW Celine Dion won (on behalf of Switzerland, of all places) in 1988! The entire enterprise defies rational (and tasteful) description, and has to be seen to be believed.
But camp and dross is what brings in the television viewers…and Doctor Who has now been affected!
The BBC have decided to postpone Doctor Who for a week, as they want to give priority to their broadcast of Eurovision…fulfilling their obligation to the European Broadcasting Union AND campy sods everywhere! The result has, from all accounts, been an avalanche of complaints to the broadcaster…resulting in an unprecedented surprise being offered to mollify fans, which will follow this week’s broadcast of The Lazarus Experiment.
I don’t know what they’re planning on offering to fans…but I, for one, will not be satisfied unless the BBC enters a team into Eurovision, comprising David Tennant, Freema Ageyman, John Barrowman, and our very own ringer: Dalek Sec. Together, they must all sing their own rendition of ABBA’s Dancing Queen, with the three other Cult-of-Skaro Daleks as background singers!
Now THAT would be a show worth watching… 
