In the picture above, you can see my birthday present. His name is Caan. He’s a Dalek…but don’t hold that against him.
He can’t temporal shift (the batteries wouldn’t cut it), but he has other worthy traits. He comes with a remote control that aids in his 360 degree motion, his eye stalk glows blue, and his indicator lights flash.
He can speak 8 different phrases…and each one of them promises delicious death and destruction. Being only a foot tall doesn’t stop him in the slightest.
Caan is much better than a pet — after all, pets shed and require feeding and walking. Caan comes with a convenient off switch, and he looks magnificent as he sits on display in my living room.
No…I haven’t lost my mind…I’ve simply gained a friend, concealed by mock-bonded-polycarbide armour. Birthdays are great! 
