Here we are again.
Another year has come and gone…luckily, it was a year I don’t intend to remember with any fondness, so getting older isn’t a problem on this occasion. Thirty-four years on Planet Earth…
How should I use this birthday blog space, hmm…?
Well, I could write about my thoughts on Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I DID see it on Thursday night, and I did enjoy it…but that review is still to come…
I could write about the lastest episode of Battlestar Galactica…but I’ve been side-tracked recently, and I’ll get to that eventually as well, when I have time to think about it…
Today…I’m going to tell you WHY I HATE TRAINEE CASHIERS.
They are an abomination. With the reaction time of an amputated sloth, the speed of a sleepy, lame jersey cow, and the intellectual agility of a lobotomised dog, they seem to stalk me at each and every business establishment I use on a daily basis.
I was making a lotto purchase the other night, cashing in a winning ticket. Then I said to the cashier “I’d like a second Super 7 quick pick, with encore.”
I must have said in Swahili, because she turned to me, blonde hair blazing in the flourescent glow of the store, eyes shining with a vacancy hitherto unknown in humans, mouth half open. After a pause of 3 seconds (which felt like 300) she said, “Umm…what did you say?” She held back an insane giggle at that point.
I repeated my request, word for word.
She continued to stare at me, her eyes threatening to cross. She wasn’t chewing any gum, but I could smell the sugary scenet of recently disposed Hubba-Bubba on her breath.
After the third request, she finally filled my lotto order…VERY VERY slowly. Then I asked for $10 cash back, in loonies, for laundry machine change.
She complied…by dumping them on the counter and making ME pick them up and count them! She simply waatched me, the hamster in the wheel she calls a brain likely dying from the extreme exertion I forced upon her…
I’m cursed by trainees. Whenever I go to a store…out to eat…they haunt me, like a biblical plague (one that would have driven Moses insane). I thought I might be spared, just once, considering it was the day before my birthday, but it was not to be. The curse continues…
…so I went Wal-Mart, always willing to push my luck. 
