So…they’re going to re-launch Buffy the Vampire Slayer as a movie franchise.
Go figure…it’s bad enough that Hollywood is raping the entire film & TV back catalogue for remakes and reboots, due to lack of original thought (and lack of brain cells). Robocop, Footloose, Back to the Future, The Karate Kid…and probably a dozen others I’m trying to keep FAR AWAY from my perception threshold. Are we running so low on human creativity that now we’re forced to raid pop culture that’s only a decade old? I’m surprised we haven’t reached the stage of “Michael Jackson - The Motion Picture”.
Well, that’s an argument for another time…one that will be blotted from your memory by what you read HERE. Go on…read it, and come back.
Read it? Puked yet? Gaping in incredulity yet?
That’s right. Buffy…without Giles, without Angel, without Spike, without Willow…without any worthwhile elements that constitute one of the most imaginative, amazing universes ever created for television fiction. Without any of the exquisite characters, emotional bonds, and life-and-death struggles that made millions weep and cheer every week for seven years.
Remind me…why are people going to watch this?
Oh…that’s right. Thanks to Twilight, vampires are IN…any vampires, it seems. And any clone of Twilight is good enough for the punters going to the theatre, right? A pretty girl, romance with a blood-sucking fiend, lots of white make-up & ultraviolet lighting…
Excuse me…I have to turn over the napkin upon which I’m writing out this scenario!
Newsflash to those who are unaware: Buffy was a kick-ass amazon teenager who also had to worry about boy-problems and homework, and letting her mom into her life…in between those moments of fighting the powers of darkness. I don’t recall female empowerment, the alienation and isolation of growing up, and other adult themes being a big part of Stephanie Meyer’s creation. To say nothing of the genius behind episodes such as The Body, Hush, and Once More With Feeling.
I could rant and rave about how Twilight is the true clone (a not-very-good, paper thin, superficial-teenage-angsty, Buffy-lite clone)…but what’s the point? Not recognizing quality is an entertainment industry prerogative. Messing about with Joss Wheddon - a man who produced a vampire series that rewrote the rules about teenagers, growing up, life and death…a man who followed it up with a spin-off that plunged into the dark abyss of urban life unlike any other series - that is DEFINITELY an industry prerogative. Shall I mention Firefly or Dollhouse? Best not to…
So let’s be clear. This is a waste of celluloid. This is a waste of time, energy, brain power…wait a moment…does Hollywood HAVE brain power? Oh, you know the drill. Insert applicable adjectives of disgust to suit your mood. Don’t see it, don’t pay any attention to it.
Pull out your DVDs of Buffy and Angel and appreciate them as the masterpieces they are. Unlike Star Trek, there’s no trap door around the existence & back-story of the originals…and there shouldn’t be!
